Theres a time in life when you have to make tough and critical decisions that could really be responsible of how well things are secured in the long run. Never thought I would come across such decisions, but the time has come.
As I enter the ripe age of 22, I'm out of college, and spending my days looking for a job. Not going to lie, it's been really tough. I google and look for jobs, and a lot of these jobs aren't even entry level even though they say it is. It's funny because I see "entry level job" and the requirements say that you need lie 3 years experience. Funny, and sad.
Lately since I've been out of school and without a job, I've been having a lot of free time. Its always nice to hang out with close friends, and enjoy meals and talks. Its really nice to not worry about having class the next day knowing that you're done with school for life (or maybe until grad school can come into the picture). Its also nice to enjoy the things I normally like to do, such as going to the gym and working out while not hesitating to make a decision to ditch class or not.
Other than that, yeah I haven't been too productively lately. While having a deep conversation with my dad the other day, he told me that life has 3 chapters. He said I completed the first one, which was graduating college. The second chapter he told me referred to my career. I asked him if its supposed to be this hard finding a career. He just responds back saying thats up to your effort. He told me that these upcoming months ahead of me are crucial in the long run and that I need make sure that nothing hinders me from succeeding.
As a I plan to take my first actuary license exam, I came to a conclusion that I need to stop a certain habit. That main habit is something I really don't want to give up, but its hanging out and socializing with people. Although it is a good thing, it also has its bad because I've been overdoing it and wasting time as well. Its weird because I'm such an extrovert, but I realized that it also came to be my biggest weakness as well. I never studied jack crap in college, and always relied on my procrastination skills (which really didn't do me too well). But at the same time, I'm glad that God taught me a valuable lesson in procrastinating. Please don't attempt to do what I say hahah, but while actually taking a full day to just study, I learned so much and so quickly after not feeling pressured with time. I guess all that procrastinating in college really did come to my advantage now that I can learn quicker in a short amount of time, but this time having all the time I need.
Back to the main point, what I'm trying to say is that I need to complete this journey ALONE. It's really up to me whether I want to succeed or not. While I was in Cambodia, I promised a dear brother that just became a pastor that I'd help him financially and go back one day to build a church with him. Not only that, my dad also told me to really work hard and support my future family well, as the economy really is getting worse and worse. I also came to realize how much my dad gave up for me, my bro, and my mom to live so well the past 20 something years, and I want to do the very same. Even right now as we're going through a finance crisis, my mom told me something that seriously inspired me. My mom told me that my dad not only worked hard for our sakes, but for other family members and friends as well. He helped my uncle who was facing a finance crisis, paid medical bills for a sick friend who faced cancer and a divorce, helped churches by donating over thousands of dollars for missions and God's glory. And even to this day, even though my dad has no job, sells his 90K car, gives up his own luxurious expenses for our family's sakes. When I asked him how he pulled off such things, he just told me that God leads, but its up to you if you want to follow.
So, to end this blog, I'm going to dedicate the next 2+ months studying for my actuary exams and passing them for God's glory. So I'll be deactivating Facebook, stop checking Tumblr, and sadly I'll be cutting hanging out and socializing by 99%. Even lately I've been realizing that some people are in huge danger in the future as they're wasting their lives away in this turmoil economy. I don't want my future family to go through crisis and I will fulfill the promise I made to my friend. In order to make this all possible, I need to take advantage of how I start off and really take initiative. Even though people can mess up in school, there's always redemption by studying harder. But, if you don't take initiative and action in your future career and just loaf around in this ridiculous economy thats bound to get much much much worse, theres really no hope and no second chance as well. I wouldn't be surprised if I see homeless Asians out in the streets 10 years from now, and I can already see it being very possible by how their living their lives right now.
To sum this up, I don't want anything to hinder and distract my focus. Not going to post this on Tumblr, or Facebook, and I hope people will just forget my existence the next 2 months. The only thing that I will check is email, and sure I'll make the time to respond back to emails. I don't mind having lunch with people once in a while, but yeah I won't be around too much. I hope y'all can understand, and probably people are gonna be hella confused why I'm isolating myself so suddenly. I just hope I don't get calls and texts why I deactivated Facebook and why I'm not around lately. I guess for people that really do care, I appreciate that. But other than that, I don't know who'll read this. Probably my closest friends and people that care. Thanks guys for understanding, and if you really do need to get in touch with my for any reason, just email me at bryan.sk.kang@gmail.com or just call my cell. Even though I'll be on a really strict timing schedule, I'll make some time for those that actually care =].
Monday, September 5, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Long Time No See Bloggg
It's been a while since I updated this thing. I don't know if anyone still uses blogspot now that everyone seemed to move on to Tumblr. Yet, I'm going to continue to write on this because this is where I will post up more deeper and personal things on here anyway. To me, I guess this is like a personal diary now since not many people would be reading this.
So far, its been about 4 months into 2011. So far its been a real blessing. I graduated UC Irvine with a BA in Business Economics with a minor in International Studies. I really thank my parents for putting me through school and working hard to keep me in school. I've also been blessed to go on STEM. Last year it was really tough to deal with, but I'm so thankful and blessed that God gave me a second chance and I can't be any happier than I am now. I'm also really thankful that I'll be going to Japan this summer to do kingdom work for God and I want to give it my very best and all for the people of Japan as they're facing tough times since the devastating earthquake.
Although I wished I could have just ended my post there with all the blessings, once again I'm faced with huge challenges. Recently my dad lost his job and right now our family is going through a huge financial crisis. Right now we're in the process of moving out to a smaller house and right now I'm paying off all my bills and expenses. One thing I couldn't get off my head was when I realized how much money could have been well invested if I just did my absolute best in school. My dad worked his frkn heart off and probably spent a good $70,000 on me to go to school, yet all I did was slack and goof off during my time in school. I even made things worse myself when I gave up on graduate school just because I couldn't get any financial support. I could have still tried really hard and try to pull off some scholarships, yet I still chose to gave up. Many people wondered why I suddenly stopped trying in school, why I started to ditch class the entire quarter, and pretty much took school like nothing. I always told everyone that "I didn't care about school", and that "I was just lazy." Yes, I was able to pull off some good grades whatnot, but the reason why I stopped trying was not because of the things I said. I suddenly gave up because I so depressed that I wasn't going to graduate school. I made plans since my sophomore year, was getting ready, researching on everything I could, and towards my junior year when I found out that it wasn't financially possible for me, I threw it all away out of agony and depression. I always told people that I didn't care and was just lazy, but the real reason I gave up was because I was tormented inside and felt like everything was just pointless for me.
When I found out that our family was going through a financial crisis, it really put a huge burden of guilt in my heart. I seriously felt like a waste of money and time after I graduated school. I could have done so much better, yet I chose to just not try and gave up so easily. Even though God blessed me with a career path to go into actuary, I still felt like such a failure and shame to everyone, especially my family. I always joked around and it seemed like I was happy when I tell people that I didn't try in school, but really deep down inside, I was so filled with guilt. Thinking of myself as failure just reminded me of the things I did in the past. It only put more and more guilt into my heart. I've seriously done the stupidest and shadiest things possible, and I always blamed it on my rough childhood for making me become so heartless.
This past Sunday, God truly broke me. When Pastor Jeff spoke on the Second Coming of Christ and focused on the urgency of getting prepared, it really reminded me more of what I should have done in college. During the intercession of prayer, PJeff asked for those that felt like a failure to raise their hands and stand up before God. Literally, I felt like the most absolute biggest failure and sinner before God. When PJeff said that God doesn't view me as a failure, I did my absolute best to hold back my tears. I haven't shed a single tear since high school and always thought that crying in front of people is only what a weak man would do. When some people were putting their hands while praying for me, I tried even harder to hold back my tears. Slowly and slowly, my eyes were watering and eventually I broke down in heavy tears. I was not only crying, but actually raining in tears. People were praying really hard for me, and I even heard someone praying in tongues for me. I think that was the most I've ever repented in front of God. I've repented a few times, but never out of sorrow and desperation in tears.
What God told me that day was to just follow his lead, because his lead will never fail. This past month, I was researching on entry level actuary jobs and realized that California is definitely not the place for entry level actuary jobs. Even right now, it's becoming more and more imminent that I'm probably going somewhere in the East Coast for the entry level actuary job. I can't imagine just leaving EVERYTHING behind and going to a city I've never lived in while knowing absolutely nobody there. Yet, I was relieved when God showed me a vision on that Sunday. God showed me that even though I may be out of California for possibly a year or two, God will send me back to California once I faithfully fulfill my duties in the East Coast. I'm actually excited for whatever is ahead of me. Today I found out that there are quite a few entry level actuary jobs in New York City. Started researching on the apartments I can possibly live in and its finances as well. If I happen to go to the East (or even better miraculously find an actuarial job in So. Cal), I just pray that I will never doubt God for whatever happens. God already showed me that I'll be back in So. California, get a permanent home and job in So. Cal, get married in So. Cal, raise my kids where I grew up, and best of all, being able to go to Sarang Community Church in Anaheim to worship God. More than anything, I pray that God will continue to shape and mold me so that I will be able to give it my very best and all for God's kingdom to come. I need to always be reminded that Jesus will come back unexpectedly, and I need to be prepared for that glorious day to come. Even though it may not come in my lifetime, I need to make sure that everyone around me (such as my kids and their future generation to come, coworkers, friends, etc) in the future will be aware of this because that is what a kingdom worker does for the glory of God.
Other than that, that's all I have left to say. I have no clue when I'll update this blog again and I have no clue who'll read this. But seriously, for those that read it, I'm so blessed and thankful for you guys actually caring about me. You guys should tell me that you read my blog so that I can pray for you guys as well hahah. This was a long entry, and I can't believe some of you guys actually take the time to read it. But anyways, let's all be urgent and ready for whatever God has in store for all of us.
So far, its been about 4 months into 2011. So far its been a real blessing. I graduated UC Irvine with a BA in Business Economics with a minor in International Studies. I really thank my parents for putting me through school and working hard to keep me in school. I've also been blessed to go on STEM. Last year it was really tough to deal with, but I'm so thankful and blessed that God gave me a second chance and I can't be any happier than I am now. I'm also really thankful that I'll be going to Japan this summer to do kingdom work for God and I want to give it my very best and all for the people of Japan as they're facing tough times since the devastating earthquake.
Although I wished I could have just ended my post there with all the blessings, once again I'm faced with huge challenges. Recently my dad lost his job and right now our family is going through a huge financial crisis. Right now we're in the process of moving out to a smaller house and right now I'm paying off all my bills and expenses. One thing I couldn't get off my head was when I realized how much money could have been well invested if I just did my absolute best in school. My dad worked his frkn heart off and probably spent a good $70,000 on me to go to school, yet all I did was slack and goof off during my time in school. I even made things worse myself when I gave up on graduate school just because I couldn't get any financial support. I could have still tried really hard and try to pull off some scholarships, yet I still chose to gave up. Many people wondered why I suddenly stopped trying in school, why I started to ditch class the entire quarter, and pretty much took school like nothing. I always told everyone that "I didn't care about school", and that "I was just lazy." Yes, I was able to pull off some good grades whatnot, but the reason why I stopped trying was not because of the things I said. I suddenly gave up because I so depressed that I wasn't going to graduate school. I made plans since my sophomore year, was getting ready, researching on everything I could, and towards my junior year when I found out that it wasn't financially possible for me, I threw it all away out of agony and depression. I always told people that I didn't care and was just lazy, but the real reason I gave up was because I was tormented inside and felt like everything was just pointless for me.
When I found out that our family was going through a financial crisis, it really put a huge burden of guilt in my heart. I seriously felt like a waste of money and time after I graduated school. I could have done so much better, yet I chose to just not try and gave up so easily. Even though God blessed me with a career path to go into actuary, I still felt like such a failure and shame to everyone, especially my family. I always joked around and it seemed like I was happy when I tell people that I didn't try in school, but really deep down inside, I was so filled with guilt. Thinking of myself as failure just reminded me of the things I did in the past. It only put more and more guilt into my heart. I've seriously done the stupidest and shadiest things possible, and I always blamed it on my rough childhood for making me become so heartless.
This past Sunday, God truly broke me. When Pastor Jeff spoke on the Second Coming of Christ and focused on the urgency of getting prepared, it really reminded me more of what I should have done in college. During the intercession of prayer, PJeff asked for those that felt like a failure to raise their hands and stand up before God. Literally, I felt like the most absolute biggest failure and sinner before God. When PJeff said that God doesn't view me as a failure, I did my absolute best to hold back my tears. I haven't shed a single tear since high school and always thought that crying in front of people is only what a weak man would do. When some people were putting their hands while praying for me, I tried even harder to hold back my tears. Slowly and slowly, my eyes were watering and eventually I broke down in heavy tears. I was not only crying, but actually raining in tears. People were praying really hard for me, and I even heard someone praying in tongues for me. I think that was the most I've ever repented in front of God. I've repented a few times, but never out of sorrow and desperation in tears.
What God told me that day was to just follow his lead, because his lead will never fail. This past month, I was researching on entry level actuary jobs and realized that California is definitely not the place for entry level actuary jobs. Even right now, it's becoming more and more imminent that I'm probably going somewhere in the East Coast for the entry level actuary job. I can't imagine just leaving EVERYTHING behind and going to a city I've never lived in while knowing absolutely nobody there. Yet, I was relieved when God showed me a vision on that Sunday. God showed me that even though I may be out of California for possibly a year or two, God will send me back to California once I faithfully fulfill my duties in the East Coast. I'm actually excited for whatever is ahead of me. Today I found out that there are quite a few entry level actuary jobs in New York City. Started researching on the apartments I can possibly live in and its finances as well. If I happen to go to the East (or even better miraculously find an actuarial job in So. Cal), I just pray that I will never doubt God for whatever happens. God already showed me that I'll be back in So. California, get a permanent home and job in So. Cal, get married in So. Cal, raise my kids where I grew up, and best of all, being able to go to Sarang Community Church in Anaheim to worship God. More than anything, I pray that God will continue to shape and mold me so that I will be able to give it my very best and all for God's kingdom to come. I need to always be reminded that Jesus will come back unexpectedly, and I need to be prepared for that glorious day to come. Even though it may not come in my lifetime, I need to make sure that everyone around me (such as my kids and their future generation to come, coworkers, friends, etc) in the future will be aware of this because that is what a kingdom worker does for the glory of God.
Other than that, that's all I have left to say. I have no clue when I'll update this blog again and I have no clue who'll read this. But seriously, for those that read it, I'm so blessed and thankful for you guys actually caring about me. You guys should tell me that you read my blog so that I can pray for you guys as well hahah. This was a long entry, and I can't believe some of you guys actually take the time to read it. But anyways, let's all be urgent and ready for whatever God has in store for all of us.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010: Looking Back, Smiling.
2010 was not a easy year at all for me. A lot of failures, chaos, unfortunate happenings, and so on. Yet, it's the only year I was able to overcome many obstacles and prepare for what's ahead. On the real note, I didn't like 2010 overall. Yet, the only reason why I came to love it is the fact that it really taught me the knowledge and wisdom I'll desperately need for the years to come.
I guess the big highlights of 2010 was me basically failing in almost all aspects of life and going through the unluckiest and most unfortunate events overall. I got kicked out STEM cuz of my temper problems after miraculously being able to go, had a tarnished image at church, had a really bad relationship with my dad once I got kicked out of STEM cuz I told him that I sacrificed an internship to do STEM, had to rearrange my entire schedule and ended up having the most ridiculous spring quarter of my life, woke up everyday pissed off during that time span, threw huge temper tantrums, lost quite a few friendships, getting judged out of nowhere, starting smoking again after quitting for a year, getting my recomm leadership app rejected, struggled to find my normal personality after being so lost in life, hopes of grad school ended along with the CPA license since dad retired and can't support me (also realized that a CPA career wasn't for me), found out that my family's really struggling financially to the point where we might have to move real soon, and I can't believe I still could write more to this chaos but I'll end it here.
All this, all these failures, all these events leading to another event, it was seriously by far so tough to deal with, especially with people around you knowing it.
I asked God why all this had to happen. I asked God was this necessary. I asked God why did it have to be me. Last week while listening to my ipod and lying on my bed for a good 2 hours reflecting and reminiscing deeply, all those memories and flashes of 2010 blended together and God finally showed me why all this had to happen, why it was necessary, and why it had to happen to me.
1. I got kicked out of STEM because of a huge anger issue deep inside me. I think because of my rough childhood, it all built up and I ended up becoming a heartless and merciless person. Even if I was given another chance for STEM, maybe things might have been different, but it definitely wouldn't have solved the core problem that was deep inside of me. What I learned was that the only permanent cure to anger is love. I had so many relational problems with people, and I found it so hard to love people that hurt me deeply from the past. Even though people that hurt me might have caused me to become an angry person, the only way I can fix my angry self was to overcome those mental attacks. I prayed with little faith at first for this to be made possible. But slowly, I was able to start new friendships. And eventually, I was able to start friendships with those I thought it would have been virtually impossible to make peace with after the magnitude of clashing and fighting in the past. I can look back and say getting kicked out of STEM was horrifying, but the end result to it was far greater in joy and treasure than the nightmares.
2. I got my recomm leadership app rejected because I lacked so much maturity and was pretty much a bad example for the younger class. Honestly, it was pretty much common sense to say that "What kind of a Recomm leader would smoke cigarettes and is completely obnoxious at times?" At first, I really did have the heart to serve Irvine Recomm until I realized that I can't really put it to use unless I clean out the negatives on what taints the things inside my very heart. I started smoking after quitting for a year cuz of all the stress and depression I received earlier, and this was by far the most addicting I ever got it to. It put me to over 6 year mark of smoking, and quitting smoking was starting to become like a very unlikely fairy tale story. So bad to the point where one day I smoked six cigarettes in a row without realizing anything until Wesley told me straight up that it was frkn serious. And even bad to the point where my dad came up to me and asked how many packs I was smoking since he saw my credit card bill, which showed that I spent $200 one month on just cigarettes and replaced it with food pretty much. Quitting after an addiction this horrifying was probably the toughest challenge in terms of fighting my flesh. But one thing I learned most valuable was how powerful accountability, prayer, and especially the Word really is. Reading the Bible can really strengthen your flesh through words of wisdom and having your friends praying and looking out for you encourages you to keep on fighting. It's been a good 2 and a half months now since I've been off it. There's been some times where I was so close to falling, but was able to overcome those piercing temptations. Thus, I saw why I got my leadership app rejected. I wasn't ready at all until I was able to overcome cleaning out what was in my heart first the hard way.
3. Recently I found out that my family's struggling financially for the first time. I remember my mom constantly telling me to pray for my dad because he was coming home loaded with stress and frustration from a really slow business cycle. One day it got bad to the point where dad told mom that he couldn't feel the right side of his body because of how pissed off and stressed out he was. And on Thanksgiving day, it was then dad finally told the family that he's going to retire and that we're going to have to move soon to a smaller home. What made it worse was that I found out that dad couldn't support me at all with grad school and my road to getting a CPA license. Then I researched on alternate ways to get a CPA, but after reading about what a CPA career is really like, I decided that getting $50K in debt cuz of grad school for a CPA career I wouldn't enjoy like the frustration dad was going through wasn't really worth it after all.
This one really threw a huge curveball at me. I felt like I wasted all those times I was getting ready for the GMAT's and sending all these internship resumes to get an accounting internship/job. I really prayed hard for this one, and God showed why this had to happen. After majoring in Business Economics with a minor in Intl Studies, I took classes such as Calculus, Statistics, Economic Theory, Finance, Econometrics, and all these classes which I thought would be completely useless. Yet, these classes also would have been completely pointless if I were to go to USC grad school of accounting since accounting and economics are not really related. Then I said to myself, "What kind of a frkn jobs are out there that's related to like Econometrics, Econ theory, and Finance?" Decided to google and research it out of stupidity, and I was shocked by the perfect answer. There actually is a job out there that uses all the classes that I thought I would find no use to life. Ironically, this job is called an actuary (sounds funny, cuz I was like there "actually" is a job like that???") What made it a really clear answer was that I didn't need to go to grad school for this, and after researching this job, I realized that this is a job that I'll not only enjoy, but something I can really master through hard work. I've made a commitment to pursue this job to help my family financially and also glorify God's name by being a really hard kingdom worker. I really hope God will speak and work through me as I work with nonchristians in the working field as well.
Hahah that was quite a reflection. I've also decided to write this on my blogspot instead of my Tumblr since I wanted to keep more personal and deeper things on here anyway. I don't know if anyone would read anything this long, but for those that did hahah wow, thanks for caring. Also for those that read it (a very few I suppose), please keep me in prayers. Even though it was a rough year of 2010, I can look back smiling at it and enter the new year prepared for what's ahead.
I guess the big highlights of 2010 was me basically failing in almost all aspects of life and going through the unluckiest and most unfortunate events overall. I got kicked out STEM cuz of my temper problems after miraculously being able to go, had a tarnished image at church, had a really bad relationship with my dad once I got kicked out of STEM cuz I told him that I sacrificed an internship to do STEM, had to rearrange my entire schedule and ended up having the most ridiculous spring quarter of my life, woke up everyday pissed off during that time span, threw huge temper tantrums, lost quite a few friendships, getting judged out of nowhere, starting smoking again after quitting for a year, getting my recomm leadership app rejected, struggled to find my normal personality after being so lost in life, hopes of grad school ended along with the CPA license since dad retired and can't support me (also realized that a CPA career wasn't for me), found out that my family's really struggling financially to the point where we might have to move real soon, and I can't believe I still could write more to this chaos but I'll end it here.
All this, all these failures, all these events leading to another event, it was seriously by far so tough to deal with, especially with people around you knowing it.
I asked God why all this had to happen. I asked God was this necessary. I asked God why did it have to be me. Last week while listening to my ipod and lying on my bed for a good 2 hours reflecting and reminiscing deeply, all those memories and flashes of 2010 blended together and God finally showed me why all this had to happen, why it was necessary, and why it had to happen to me.
1. I got kicked out of STEM because of a huge anger issue deep inside me. I think because of my rough childhood, it all built up and I ended up becoming a heartless and merciless person. Even if I was given another chance for STEM, maybe things might have been different, but it definitely wouldn't have solved the core problem that was deep inside of me. What I learned was that the only permanent cure to anger is love. I had so many relational problems with people, and I found it so hard to love people that hurt me deeply from the past. Even though people that hurt me might have caused me to become an angry person, the only way I can fix my angry self was to overcome those mental attacks. I prayed with little faith at first for this to be made possible. But slowly, I was able to start new friendships. And eventually, I was able to start friendships with those I thought it would have been virtually impossible to make peace with after the magnitude of clashing and fighting in the past. I can look back and say getting kicked out of STEM was horrifying, but the end result to it was far greater in joy and treasure than the nightmares.
2. I got my recomm leadership app rejected because I lacked so much maturity and was pretty much a bad example for the younger class. Honestly, it was pretty much common sense to say that "What kind of a Recomm leader would smoke cigarettes and is completely obnoxious at times?" At first, I really did have the heart to serve Irvine Recomm until I realized that I can't really put it to use unless I clean out the negatives on what taints the things inside my very heart. I started smoking after quitting for a year cuz of all the stress and depression I received earlier, and this was by far the most addicting I ever got it to. It put me to over 6 year mark of smoking, and quitting smoking was starting to become like a very unlikely fairy tale story. So bad to the point where one day I smoked six cigarettes in a row without realizing anything until Wesley told me straight up that it was frkn serious. And even bad to the point where my dad came up to me and asked how many packs I was smoking since he saw my credit card bill, which showed that I spent $200 one month on just cigarettes and replaced it with food pretty much. Quitting after an addiction this horrifying was probably the toughest challenge in terms of fighting my flesh. But one thing I learned most valuable was how powerful accountability, prayer, and especially the Word really is. Reading the Bible can really strengthen your flesh through words of wisdom and having your friends praying and looking out for you encourages you to keep on fighting. It's been a good 2 and a half months now since I've been off it. There's been some times where I was so close to falling, but was able to overcome those piercing temptations. Thus, I saw why I got my leadership app rejected. I wasn't ready at all until I was able to overcome cleaning out what was in my heart first the hard way.
3. Recently I found out that my family's struggling financially for the first time. I remember my mom constantly telling me to pray for my dad because he was coming home loaded with stress and frustration from a really slow business cycle. One day it got bad to the point where dad told mom that he couldn't feel the right side of his body because of how pissed off and stressed out he was. And on Thanksgiving day, it was then dad finally told the family that he's going to retire and that we're going to have to move soon to a smaller home. What made it worse was that I found out that dad couldn't support me at all with grad school and my road to getting a CPA license. Then I researched on alternate ways to get a CPA, but after reading about what a CPA career is really like, I decided that getting $50K in debt cuz of grad school for a CPA career I wouldn't enjoy like the frustration dad was going through wasn't really worth it after all.
This one really threw a huge curveball at me. I felt like I wasted all those times I was getting ready for the GMAT's and sending all these internship resumes to get an accounting internship/job. I really prayed hard for this one, and God showed why this had to happen. After majoring in Business Economics with a minor in Intl Studies, I took classes such as Calculus, Statistics, Economic Theory, Finance, Econometrics, and all these classes which I thought would be completely useless. Yet, these classes also would have been completely pointless if I were to go to USC grad school of accounting since accounting and economics are not really related. Then I said to myself, "What kind of a frkn jobs are out there that's related to like Econometrics, Econ theory, and Finance?" Decided to google and research it out of stupidity, and I was shocked by the perfect answer. There actually is a job out there that uses all the classes that I thought I would find no use to life. Ironically, this job is called an actuary (sounds funny, cuz I was like there "actually" is a job like that???") What made it a really clear answer was that I didn't need to go to grad school for this, and after researching this job, I realized that this is a job that I'll not only enjoy, but something I can really master through hard work. I've made a commitment to pursue this job to help my family financially and also glorify God's name by being a really hard kingdom worker. I really hope God will speak and work through me as I work with nonchristians in the working field as well.
Hahah that was quite a reflection. I've also decided to write this on my blogspot instead of my Tumblr since I wanted to keep more personal and deeper things on here anyway. I don't know if anyone would read anything this long, but for those that did hahah wow, thanks for caring. Also for those that read it (a very few I suppose), please keep me in prayers. Even though it was a rough year of 2010, I can look back smiling at it and enter the new year prepared for what's ahead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)